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Pregnant? Here's how to say 'I do'By Laurie Githens Hatch (Rochester NY Democrat and Chronicle) For sheer surprise, there's not much to top a diamond ring and proposal -- unless it's a pregnancy test-stick that pops positive at the same time. Suddenly, the bride-to-be goes from having her head in the clouds to having it over a bucket. And the couple faces a very big choice: A. Have a modest wedding rather quickly. B. Continue plans for a big blowout, including a big gown for a blown-out bride. C. Wait until the baby's born, and Mom's back in shape. Option A has been the traditional choice for generations. But over the last decade, while Option C is still a rarity, Option B has become tantalizing. Deciding isn't easy. "This certainly isn't in Peggy Post", says WeddingChannel.com editor Marilyn Oliveira, referring to the advice columnist. Which is right for you? Here are some pros and cons. Sooner and smaller Advantages: Likelihood the child can be passed off as a honeymoon baby (if it matters). No year-long stress planning a giant bacchanal. Keeping it a secret is still possible. Disadvantages: Loss of childhood fantasy. Everyone probably will guess what's up anyway. Tendency to panic, slap together something too small and regret it later. Ceremony: Many couples are able to get a church date without tons of questions. Invitations: "Take advantage and spread the word as fast as possible", says Kara Corridan of Modern Bride and Elegant Bride. "Normally we don't advocate e-mail invitations, but this might be an occasion for it." Dress: Depending on how soon you say "I do" after saying "I am", you can generally wear what you've always dreamed of. As for the "Is white vulgar?" query, we offer up the nicely tart response of Judith Martin, also known as Miss Manners: "The real vulgarity is in the notion that the color of the dress should advertise the history of the body it contained." Wedding planner: "This makes a big case for getting a planner", says Tracey Morgan, owner of Elegance Weddings and Events in Victor, NY. "It's stressful enough, but now it's you and your baby facing the stress. We do this for a living. You don't need it." In the long run: "A lot of couples move it up...simply because, hey, who wants to be, or even feel, nine months pregnant on their wedding day?" asks Kathleen Murray, senior editor at TheKnot.com. Later and bigger Advantages: You'll have the wedding you more or less envisioned. The secret will be out. You can tell your child she actually was at Mommy and Daddy's wedding. Disadvantages: Past a certain point you won't look like you have a "bump". You'll look like you're smuggling two pigs under a white blanket. You'll be tired and even more emotional. And let's not get into labor-and-delivery scenarios possible during the Electric Slide, hmm? Ceremony: Depending upon your religion or officiant, the big church splash might be out. But don't assume that aisle-walk is impossible until you've asked. Invitations: Think who needs telling in order to avoid gasps as you walk down the aisle. Dress: "It really boils down to this for most women", says Murray. "If they can find the dress, haven't compromised on their dream gown and found one that fits a growing belly, they're happy." Corridan concurs: "Once they've found a dress, we hear mostly that it's full steam ahead with the existing plans." Some places to find dresses: www.maternitybride.com and www.tk-designs.com. Wedding planner: Oliveira, Murray and Corridan agree: Let a pro take the wheel. "Planning the nursery comes soon enough, maybe at the same time", says Oliveira. "Don't do both." In the long run: If you can let go of your dream of being sylph-like in a slip dress, this still can be a deeply meaningful and lovely day. |
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A wedding officiant may also be referred to as a: celebrant, clergy, officiator, officiate, official, pastor, preacher, wedding minister, minister, magistrate, justice of the peace, JP, priest, judge, facilitator, counselor and rabbi. Rev. Elaine Radloff is a Michigan wedding officiant, MI wedding officiant, (a non-denominational minister) who can officiate your ceremony if you are getting married in Michigan, are having a wedding in Michigan, are having a MI wedding or are wanting to get married in Michigan. Rev. Elaine will write and perform a wedding ceremony (marriage ceremony) or vows renewal (vow renewals) ceremony with as much of your input as you would like. Elaine performs indoor weddings and outdoor weddings in Michigan. Printed ceremony programs are also available. A sample wedding ceremony is included in a packet mailed to you. Also please remember that getting married online, getting married on the web, or getting married on the Internet, is not legal. Rev. Elaine Radloff will marry you in person and sign your marriage license so it is a legal marriage, a legal wedding.
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