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Say 'I do' to a prenup (marriage contract)?

Realities of life say get a contract

by Diane Glass as published in the Detroit Free Press, March 14, 2006

PRENUPTIAL PROS AND CONS

Rights Granted to Motherhood

Pursuant to popular opinion, prenuptial agreements undermine motherhood. A wife cares for her husband and children. It is therefore the majority opinion that wives should receive a full half share of material assets. REALITY: Here's the 411. Women aren't down with the fantasy rap about the 1950s household wench. The number of working moms is off the chain. They deserve some props. But moms can't assume the courts are going to support them after little Bobby grows up.

Premature Dissolution

Prenuptial agreements put an undue burden on marriage before a union has been officially sanctioned by government officials. When society furnishes the opportunity to escape responsibility, an individual of either gender will abscond from their said marriage duties. REALITY: Since when do marriages without prenups self-combust at slower rates than prenup marriages? And since when is having some bling all about men? Many people getting hitched in 2006 are cashing in on marital bliss a second time. They've probably got some cash, some wheels, a couple of kids and a crib. A prenup is like having your girl watching your back.

Senior Indemnification

In a manner consistent with societal practice, the majority of cash-deficient seniors are of the female gender, many of whom saw declines in status after a divorce. REALITY: Women need to get real about Prince Charming. He ain't coming. If he did, I doubt he'd be rescuing his bride from the drudgery of calculator use.

Conclusion

Both parties should be financially responsible. State-sanctioned marital contracts protect individuals only for the duration of the contractual agreement. There are no guarantees of full support after a divorce. REALITY: Marriage is a business arrangement, baby. Don't be fooled by the candy and flowers. Get it in writing.

In marriage, the vows must rule

by Shaunti Feldhahn as published in the Detroit Free Press, March 14, 2006

Marriage is not a business arrangement, but a prenup seems like the best way to make it one. My husband is a corporate attorney. When he helps corporations merge or helps one business partner join another, he's really aiding a corporate lovebird in thinking through the "what ifs", and setting expectations in legal concrete. The business partners go into the deal with eyes wide open and an exit strategy in place, even if they hope never to use it.

Here's the real 411: If you go into marriage with your exit strategy in place, you might as well eliminate vows from the ceremony. Otherwise, what's the point of the vow? Corporate lovebirds don't make a vow, they make a contract.

Yes, the institution of marriage is legalized, but the legalities are based on the existence of the vow, not the other way around. And the vow excludes an exit strategy: "For richer or poorer, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live."

Yes, some extreme cases may require a spouse to step away, but that has no bearing on whether prenuptial agreements are a good idea. If betrothed people have a knee-jerk reaction against this argument and a nagging desire to "protect themselves" with a prenup, I would encourage them to think long and hard about whether they should be getting married -- specifically, married to this particular person -- in the first place.

In today's culture, both partners need to know that the other is unconditionally committed to making their marriage work, no matter what. Having an exit strategy says exactly the opposite

A wedding officiant may also be referred to as a: celebrant, clergy, officiator, officiate, official, pastor, preacher, wedding minister, minister, magistrate, justice of the peace, JP, priest, judge, facilitator, counselor and rabbi. Rev. Elaine Radloff is a Michigan wedding officiant, MI wedding officiant, (a non-denominational minister) who can officiate your ceremony if you are getting married in Michigan, are having a wedding in Michigan, are having a MI wedding or are wanting to get married in Michigan. Rev. Elaine will write and perform a wedding ceremony (marriage ceremony) or vows renewal (vow renewals) ceremony with as much of your input as you would like. Elaine performs indoor weddings and outdoor weddings in Michigan. Printed ceremony programs are also available. A sample wedding ceremony is included in a packet mailed to you. Also please remember that getting married online, getting married on the web, or getting married on the Internet, is not legal. Rev. Elaine Radloff will marry you in person and sign your marriage license so it is a legal marriage, a legal wedding.