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The Unity CandleIncorporating a Unity Candle ritual in a wedding ceremony first became popular about ten years ago. What the ritual is: the couple uses two lit taper candles, symbolizing their individuality and/or their two separate family heritages, to light one larger candle that symbolizes their two lives becoming one in the marriage commitment. Early on, Unity Candles were used only in Protestant church weddings or in ceremonies conducted outside of a church setting.
The ritual typically takes place in two separate parts. First, either before they take their seats, or when invited up at the start of the ceremony, the mothers of the bride and groom light a taper candle in honor of their son or daughter, at the altar or on a small table up front. The tapers remain lit throughout the ceremony. Secondly, after the vows and rings have been exchanged, the officiant will explain to the guests the symbolism of the Unity Candle. Then the bride and the groom are then asked to take their separate lives, represented by the individual taper candles, and bring them together by lighting the large center candle, by joining the flames of the two individual candles. Often, a song is sung or music played during the lighting of the Unity Candle. It can also be combined with the reading of an appropriate poem or words to accompany the symbolism of the ceremony. Whether or not to extinguish the individual tapers after the lighting of the Unity Candle is up to the couple. Some couples believe that putting out the individual flames makes it appear as though they are ending their individual for the benefit of the marriage, while others believe extinguishing the individual candles demonstrates their devotion to the union they have just created. The ritual can be successfully performed indoors, at an altar, if there is one, or on a table, off to the side of the at the front of the ceremony site, or even out of doors. If there is any worry as to whether or not the candles will light or stay lit when used outside because of the wind, they can be inserted inside of glass hurricane globes. Sometimes candles stubbornly refuse to be lit. One trick to ensure against this problem, is to light the wicks on each candle for a moment before setting them up at the ceremony. Pre-lit wicks are much more amenable to easy re-lighting. For ease of lighting the tapers, supply a barbecue lighter, long fireplace matches or the long, very thin wax "candle-lighting" candles available from religious supply stores. As for the candles themselves, make sure to purchase candles made for this purpose, and if not, make sure to get no-drip candles. When lifting and tipping the tapers to light the center candle, the wax can drip. It is usually hot, so getting it on your skin is no fun -- and if the wind blows the wax, it can even end up on the wedding dress! One helpful ploy for outside candles, is to use the special candle-lighting candles to "grab" the flame from each of the tapers (in their respective hurricane globes) and use those to light the center candle. However, be ready for the unexpected. The wind may kick up and extinguish any attempt made at lighting the Unity Candle. Try for 30 seconds or so, and if it can't be done -- just pretend it happened and move on. The guests will not pay much attention unless they see that the couple is unhappy or frustrated. Keep your composure and everyone will be content. The second part of the Unity Candle ritual (where the bride and groom light the center candle) can happen anywhere within the wedding ceremony, although it symbolically makes the most sense to save it for after the vows have been said and the rings have been exchanged. This makes the most sense because the ritual is a celebration of the new relationship of the bride and groom becoming husband and wife. The wedding officiant will undoubtedly have good ideas about making each Unity Candle ritual unique. For example, the couple might decide to have their fathers as well as their mothers be involved in lighting the tapers. Or it may become a Family Unity Candle if the children of the bride and groom are involved in lighting the large candle after the Family Vows. The important thing is that it is meaningful to the couple in such a way as to become a memorable part of the ceremony.
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A wedding officiant may also be referred to as a: celebrant, clergy, officiator, officiate, official, pastor, preacher, wedding minister, minister, magistrate, justice of the peace, JP, priest, judge, facilitator, counselor and rabbi. Rev. Elaine Radloff is a Michigan wedding officiant, MI wedding officiant, (a non-denominational minister) who can officiate your ceremony if you are getting married in Michigan, are having a wedding in Michigan, are having a MI wedding or are wanting to get married in Michigan. Rev. Elaine will write and perform a wedding ceremony (marriage ceremony) or vows renewal (vow renewals) ceremony with as much of your input as you would like. Elaine performs indoor weddings and outdoor weddings in Michigan. Printed ceremony programs are also available. A sample wedding ceremony is included in a packet mailed to you. Also please remember that getting married online, getting married on the web, or getting married on the Internet, is not legal. Rev. Elaine Radloff will marry you in person and sign your marriage license so it is a legal marriage, a legal wedding.
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